Journal Entry
Self confidence and the working writer
March 31st 2007 at 2:27 am
I am relatively new to the non-fiction freelancing side of things. I’ve been catching up on my reading about how to be a good freelancer and trying to broaden my clips and figure this facet of my living down.
Recently I hit an article that took a bunch of research to wrangle and that just took me a couple weeks long than I thought it would to write. The editor also had lots of edits and markups (which fits with my tough evaluation of my own work). So far I’ve been very focused on trying to turn everything around *as fast as possible* when I’ve been given opportunities so that I get a reputation for being easy to work with and on-time. I felt like I’d torpedoed my near-stillborn non-fiction career there.
The editor emailed to ask for another article and I did a little jig around my office.
Somewhere back there is a little voice that always tells me I don’t have the training, or background, or skill, to be allowed out there doing all this. And yet, people still keep asking for more. And I love doing it, and I love doing something I love more than I even expected, even on the toughest of the tough days (and this winter was a long one). I still go to bed with this ‘I can’t believe I’m getting away with this’ grin.
Everyone needs these jig-around-the-office moments. I’m learning to enjoy them and relax more now.
It’s getting close to one year of full time freelancing. May 9th will be the day. I’m going to have a little miniparty!
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Tobias is a Caribbean-born SF/F novelist who lives in Ohio.
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1. Edward Willett on Mar 31st, 2007 at 10:43 am
Tobias, I’ve been freelancing fulltime since 1993, mostly nonfiction (with fiction maybe, cross fingers, starting to get somewhere now that I’ve got an agent and a book out from DAW with another in the works) and I STILL get that little voice in the back of my head that tells me any day now they’re going to catch on to the fact I don’t really know what I’m doing…
2. Catherine Shaffer on Mar 31st, 2007 at 11:55 am
Oh, yes. I have that little voice, too. However, I have found I have made a lot of editors happy by being reasonable and prompt about revision requests. In fact, it seems to me that a few of them come to me with their hearts in their throats, anticipating conflict, and when I give them what they want, THEY do a little dance around the room. I think being fast and easy to work with is the way to go. Much more important than being brilliant.
3. Steve Buchheit on Mar 31st, 2007 at 4:19 pm
I think all writer’s have that voice. I also have it when I’m doing design work. The one that says we’re just shoveling crap instead of doing things right, that we’re taking up space that someone with real talent could use. All those fun comments that are meant to drain out soul.
I used to play guitar, and I can to you that the most talented players didn’t go anywhere. It was those of us who had to work our little butts off to get good that made the bands, cut the records, played the gigs, and got to look at the groupies.
The talented guys are selling used cars.
4. Tobias Buckell on Mar 31st, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Glad I’m not the only one with that little hobgoblin
5. Mark Terry on Apr 1st, 2007 at 2:44 pm
I went part-time writing, ie., I cut back my hours at the hospital to 20 hrs/week in June 2004 and in October 2004 went full time, so I’m currently 2-1/2 years fulltime freelancing. I’m not sure the voice goes away. I went through a real mood crisis because I have this huge paying client whose work I’m sort of ambivalent about, but since I’ve doubled my income in the last year or so, it’s sort of hard for me to complain.
I think a lot of things about freelancing, but the ones that seem most true are:
1. Being reliable and on time is more important than talent.
2. What you write about and the types of things you write will probably evolve.
3. This lifestyle doesn’t suck.
6. Tobias Buckell on Apr 2nd, 2007 at 1:45 pm
:-), exactly Mark! It doesn’t suck indeed