Attack of the $6 Burger:On

November 28th 2001 at 4:46 am

Attack of the $6 Burger:On the way home tonight, tired and somewhat hungry, with the prospect of lots of little things that I need to get done tonight, I treated myself to a coke and a burger at the Hardees on the way home. I started getting bad vibes when the guy in the window forgets to give me my change.So I wait, get the burger, ask for my change, and roll out.Now the $6 Burger is not actually $6, it is a more affordable $3.95. Still more than my ‘happy burger price range,’ but I figured it would do. And it’s a new item. That and a coke pushed it up to a whopping $5.11 ($5.45 and I could have combo-ed it and gotten fries, but fries give me the worse heartburn). As is my wont, I got about a quarter of a mile out from Hardees, and opened the box to grab at the burger. I get slimed. Looking down in the dim light cast from my instrument panel, I begin to realize that the $6 Burger was a lot more than I had anticipated. It has a large bar-sized piece of grilled burger in the middle, with several pieces of tomato, real cheddar melted on, and a few leaves of lettuce.Samuel L. Jackson would say ‘now that’s a damn good burger.’The problem is that this is way more burger than you can handle with one hand on the steering wheel, your gear in 4th, at night, on a rural highway that occasionaly requires one to play ‘dodge the startled deer (or other roadkill wannabes).’I tried to use a knee to steer, but the Celica is too responsive, and besides, I’m still not sure exactly what I’m looking at in the box that I know have on my lap.To make an already long story short, I decided to pull over and wolf down the burger. I’d have to say it is one of the three best pieces of fast food I’ve ever had the oppurtunity to munch. But it isn’t driving material. Even with two hands I struggled, as the sandwich could barely hold together.In conclusion, ‘A’ quality burger, not quite making the ‘A+’ grade due to a general inability to handle it comfortably. Enjoy this meal in the dining room area of Hardees, or make sure you are a passenger.To make my life more interesting, an agent I met at Worldcon emailed me yesterday basically asking me why I hadn’t already sent him this proposal I’d mentioned to him. This has suddenly become this week’s focus. I have the whole proposal package, I’m just polishing the HELL out of the synopsis/outline to make it more catching, and more snazzy. I’m about 30% of my way in. I also want to polish my first 3 chapters, but they’re very close to a place I’m happy with. I just need to slot in a 400 segment that needs added as I spin the novel in a *slightly* different direction. I’ve gained some additional wisdom in the year since I wrote that package up.So ta, I’m off to go chop, slash, smooth, have fun.TB

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