I suppose I should write

September 12th 2001 at 10:48 pm

I suppose I should write down in my journal my thoughts about this week…

I had just woken up at 1:45pm, after having added 5-600 words to “Duppy Conqueror,” was getting toast, and flipped on the TV. At first I didn’t understand what was happening, and without my glasses on I thought it was a mid-day movie, until I heard Tom Brokaw’s distinctive commentary. The first shot I saw was of dust rushing between skyscrapers, and a cut to the plume of smoke, and my first thought was ‘oh my god they nuked New York.’ For the past 3 years, ever since fear of outside attack on the US has tapered off, I’ve been twice as worried. Particularly since the Russian ‘loss’ of several small nuclear devices. I’ve been somewhat convinced that a terrorist with a nuclear device would set it off in D.C or New York.

In many ways, what happened was worse than what I thought would happen.

My boss called two minutes later and said the college was closing, don’t worry about coming into work. So I sat and watched the TV. I’m without internet access at home, so my entire source the whole day was NBC.

Many reactions:

-My heart goes out to those brave men on the fourth flight who called on cell phone to say goodbye and that they were going to fight the terrorists. They are true heros. Considering the death toll the three other planes wrought, the people on that plane sacrificed themselves and saved hundreds, if not thousands.
-I’m amazed at the courage of New York’s finest, many of those policemen and firemen sacrificing their lives to do their _job_. The blood donor lines amaze me too.
-I’m saddened at the gas price gougers. I’m saddened at the already heightened racial tensions. I hope the politicians and the news people keep saying what they have been saying, which is to not focus on people in this country that happen to be of middle Eastern descent. They didn’t do this. Defacing mosques amounts to the same terrorism that was inflicted on us. If we keep that up, we’ll end up succumbing to the same cycle of violence that rules nations under seige. I _hope_ we don’t succumb, it is why I’ve enjoyed living in the US.
-Russia spent many years and lives fighting their version of the Vietnam war in Afghanistan, and pulled out unsucessful. I’m nervous about what a war there would entail.

Just some thoughts.

Some other sad things said to me.

“Christians would never do this sort of thing.”

Well, sad to say, the word is ‘Ireland’ where there Christian terrorists exist. And who’s defacing mosques (only someone with an opposite religious belief) As far as I can tell it seems to be the belief in an afterlife that would allow a person to blow themselves up to hurt someone else. Religious beliefs are very much a driving force (igniting spark?) in most of the mess in the air right now, and the more wars and terrorist attacks I find out about done in the name of God push me further and further out of Agnosticism and towards total Atheism.

I believe in only the goodness of individuals, who hold themselves self accountable, and it is these brave, wonderful, beautiful human beings that have made me cry as I watched their sacrifices this week. Good people are good people, evil are evil, regardless of creed, belief, or nationality.

-Tobias S. Buckell

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